a nice photo of me taken by my sister in Vermont
This year mostly sucked. You of all people know, dear reader, watched my heart-break induced slow descent into madness unfurl right here in front of you.
I’m thankful for time spent with friends, getting to see my sister and traveling with her to Vermont. I’m grateful for the people who upload book pfds online for free, without whom I wouldn’t have read as much this year.
I had a nice birthday. I watched the funniest movie I’ve ever seen. I learned a lot about men, about how men process trauma, how they weaponize it. I have witnessed the depths of bourgeois cowardice and in doing so, I learned a lot about myself, as well.
I mourned Bernadette Mayers and a big orange cat named Rusty. I bought lingerie I can’t afford for a colorblind man who ghosted me. I found a weird hidden graveyard. I smoked one million cigarettes with Sarah in her perfect apartment. I wrote things I’m proud of and things I’m less proud of. I examined my ambitions. I asked questions. I got in arguments. I lived.
I wrote poems. I tried to sweat out my sadness (you can’t!!!). I got called a Stupid Bitch. I watched hours of Youtube tarot readers. I lost ten pounds.
You live and you learn.
In an attempt to not make this a huge bummer, here is my offering: a top 3 of the best books and movies that I read/watched this year. None of it was released in 2022 because I’m not a fucking dork. I tried to listen to the new Okay Kaya album and it was such a visceral disappointment. Might as well time travel, right?
THE CIPHER, Kathe Koja. I wrote all about this fucking perfect book for #5.
The Palliative Society, Byung-Chul Han. The fear of pain and our embrace of a life in a bubble.
Prince of Darkness (1987), dir by John Carpenter. Somehow, despite being a huge Carpenter fan, I had never seen this before this year. Life-changing. His best work, deeply scary.
Here’s the piece of writing I’m most pleased with. Here’s one I don’t think people paid enough attention to.
I think that’s it. Eternally grateful to all of my readers, but especially the paid subscribers who make writing a possibility for me, who help me survive another day!
See you in the new year, nerds
xoxo
Sara
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